Welcome to Enya Explores, a series of interviews with industry experts and riders just like you. Here we cover valuable insights and practical tips to improve your and your horse’s health, happiness, confidence and success.
Rider Mindset Part 2 – The two-letter word that changes everything
There’s almost nothing we wouldn’t do for our horse’s health and to have them performing at their best. We also put a fair bit of attention on our own riding with lessons, clinics, and sometimes even off-the-horse fitness. However, one area that doesn’t always get the attention it deserves is our mindset – often at the expense of our confidence and ability to ride at our best.
If you haven’t already, check out Rider Mindset Part 1 where I chat with equestrian mindset coach Selina Iddon about some of the important and surprising things about your state of mind in the saddle.
In this article we look at one simple two-letter word that has a huge impact on your ability to stay in harmony your horse and ride at the best of your ability, even when you’re feeling the pressure of your own expectations or the judge’s eyes.
Am I riding this dressage test? Or are we?
Riding comes down to the connection and communication between you and your horse. But it can be easy to forget that when faced with a whirlwind of other pressures – whether it’s your coach or friends watching at home, the judge at a competition, or even the fact you have to fit in your ride before dinnertime.
Fortunately, there is a really simple way to keep your connection with your horse your #1 focus while riding:
Change your language from “I” to “We”.
Selina explains more:
“So much of what I teach around mindset is based around the language and the words we use. But one thing I often hear from riders is ‘Oh my test is in 30 minutes, I’ve got to warm up, I’ve got to go to gear check.’ It doesn’t even have to be competition-related – I also hear ‘I’m going for a trail ride up the mountain.’ It’s always I, I, I.”
“And the crazy thing is, there is no harmony or connection with the word ‘I’. If our mindset were being judged like a dressage test is judged, we’d be scoring very low. The word ‘I’ and harmony simply can’t coexist – we need to change it to the word ‘we’.”
‘We’ keeps you focused on your horse, even under pressure
I’m going to jump in with my own quick story about using ‘we’ versus ‘I.
Many years ago I had a catch ride on a friend’s hack at the Brisbane Royal. The thing is, I am an eventer and had only ever ridden at the smallest of ag shows. I had a quick lesson with my coach in how to ride like a showy and we were on. So take a teenager who felt like they had no idea what they were doing and didn’t want to let down the owners, a sensitive horse who wasn’t the best in big atmospheres, a huge amount of horse and non-horse friends watching in the stands and it was definitely a recipe for disaster.
Fortunately, someone reminded me to shift my language from ‘I’ to ‘we’ and it went very differently. My attention stayed on the horse and everything else melted away. We performed very well under the circumstances, even picked up a ribbon, and made the owners very happy.
Selina explains more.
“Fear of being judged is a common fear for most people, and it’s especially prevalent when you’re riding your horse.”
“You don’t even have to be competing. You could have that fear out riding with friends, or in your arena and judging yourself. And focusing on judgement is one of the worst things you could do, as now you’ve taken your focus off your horse.”
“Compare this with out of the saddle where usually we’re completely focused on our horse. We bring our absolute best to the way we feed them and care for them. So if you can say ‘we’ in the saddle, you’re subconsciously putting your energy into your horse and doing the best for them, rather than for your surroundings. And that’s what makes for good riding.”
‘We’ is a habit
Like most parts of riding, changing your language from ‘I’ to ‘we’ is a habit formed over time. Heading to dressage gear check sweaty palmed and dry mouthed isn’t the time to start practicing. Instead, the next time you head out to ride or even talk about riding, catch yourself when you say ‘I’ and rephrase it as ‘we’. Once you’ve been doing this for a few weeks, you might just be surprised at the results.
About Selina
Selina has been coaching for more than 15 years in various capacities and running her own mindset coaching business for 8 years. Her formal life coaching certification was through Authentic Education delivering the International Coach Federation curriculum.
Selina has specialized working with Equestrians for the last 6 years in addition to business women and mothers.
You can follow Selina on Facebook at Equestrian Confidence, or listen to her podcast Aussie Mindset Mentor.
About Enya
Enya is an EA Level 1 coach and 1*/2* eventer who has been riding for 20 years and coaching for 10 of them. Her favourite thing about working with horses is that we never stops learning, and loves tapping into the knowledge of specialist experts to enhance the skills of both herself and her students.
